Fatherhood in Memphis

A Q&A on parenting, raising children, and life!

Following the overwhelming interest and popularity of my initial Q&A with Bethany, I decided to interview her husband Basil – my awesome brother-in-law!

Basil is the type of person whose presence in a room makes everyone happy. He’s an extremely hard-working man in a very demanding job, but somehow still maintains the most calm, relaxed disposition of anyone I know. We’ve enjoyed numerous “grit and grind” Grizzlies games together, and far too much sushi and BBQ than is probably healthy! Best of all, our growing families have spent lots of quality time together. He lives in Memphis, TN with his wife and two children.

A big, heartfelt thank you to Basil!

Peter: Readers might not know you as well as I do. Can you briefly introduce yourself?

Basil: My name is Basil: I’m a dad, husband, and cardiologist.

What’s it like being a dad?

It’s stressful! You’re always worried that you’re going to mess something up, but you do the best you can and hope for good things!

What’s your favorite thing about living in Memphis?

The people! I love the southern hospitality. People, for the most part, welcome you with open arms. It’s something you don’t see a lot in other places.

Your job is notoriously demanding. How do you manage the work-life balance?

I do the best I can, and when I get home I try to leave the work stuff at work. Thankfully, my wife is really good at supporting me and saying, “Relax, it’s going to be ok!”

How do you and your wife make time for each other?

We try to set time (away from the kids) to spend together – such as date nights or weekend getaway trips. Pre-COVID we did that a lot more, and now we’re starting to get back into it. But it’s a real challenge when you’ve got a demanding job and kids.

Share with me a time when you looked at your wife and said, “I am so lucky I married her!

All the time! From when we were dating to now – especially seeing the way she takes care of our kids…I pinch myself all the time that I’m unbelievably lucky to be with her!

Many of us have made unusual or atypical purchases during the coronavirus pandemic. What has been your best pandemic purchase?

We splurged and got built-in wine cellar refrigerators. We enjoy champagne and good wines, and we can now store them in these beautiful refrigerators that maintain bottles at the perfect humidity and temperature!

What is the best (and worst) children’s product you own?

The best one is the Fisher-Price Snugabunny Cradle and Swing. Our kids have fallen asleep so many times in it!

The worst is any of those freezer-safe teething toys. Our kids would just throw them at me!

What fictional character does your child wish really existed?

For a while it was Elsa from the Frozen movies, then Moana from the Moana movie. Right now I’d probably have to say Chomper from the Land Before Time. But it changes from time-to-time.

Kids often hide toys or household objects in random places. What’s the weirdest place you’ve found something they’ve hidden that you’ve been looking for?

Our daughter has hidden TV remotes in random drawers. She also had these dinosaur eggs (that you chisel at and get little plastic dinosaurs), and she hid those in a bathroom closet. One day we opened up the closet and she got so excited to find dinosaur eggs in there!

What’s been your favorite family vacation?

It’s hard to beat our trip to Montauk, NY where we spent a week with you and your family! We had a good time at Disney World too, but it wasn’t the same.

What’s your favorite holiday to spend with your children?

Christmas and New Year. Everything from the Christmas tree to Santa to presents, and also Christmas lights/decorations and New Year’s fireworks…that whole time of year is magical!

What milestone are you most excited for all your children to reach?

I would love to have everyone potty-trained – that would be great!

What is your favorite song to sing to your children?

For a while my daughter was really into Wheels on the Bus, then Five Little Monkeys, then just about any Cocomelon song. While her favorite song has changed depending on what she’s into, for me it’s all about her reaction: I like to see her excitement. That’s what’s fun for me!

Would you rather…talk like Yoda or breathe like Darth Vader?

Talk like Yoda – it’s more fun!

What do you think stay-at-home parents should know about what it’s like being a working parent?

It’s challenging as a working parent because there’s a sense of missing out. It’s really sad sometimes when I come home and it seems like I missed out on what happened during the day. My wife does a great job of sending me pictures and videos of the kids – they help. But especially when you work crazy hours…it’s tough sometimes.

What advice do you have for other working parents?

Time is precious and you never get it back, so spend the most time you can with your kids!

Your work will come and go, your money will come and go, your professional life will come and go…but once you lose time, that’s it. The coronavirus pandemic emphasized that more than ever for me. Spending time with family is unbelievably precious!

Thank you, Basil!

Share your thoughts with Basil by leaving a reply in the comments below!

Read Bethany’s interview (Basil’s wife) here: Motherhood in Memphis, or browse all interviews here: Interviews.

Explore related posts at ProjectsByPeter.com/Parenting, and discover even more at ProjectsByPeter.com

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